Trust is built not tested, It is a Choice and a Skill.
There are many healthy ways to build trust safely, however, when we withhold trust it limits the ability to be intimately and deeply vulnerable and present in our relationship. When we test others to make them prove they are trustable we are doubting them and ourselves as well as limiting and trying to control the experiences. We can only extend the level of trust to others that we have trust in ourself and when we are unwilling to give what we receive we are creating an imbalance,struggle dynamic to our relationship and experience. Most untrustworthy individuals will not advertise this quality, yet, our heart will always know truth and should be the source for discernment,requiring you to trust yourself rather than look externally for proof (which can be deceiving).
Trust is the foundation of all relationships, including our relationship with our self, our creator, our life and the life of others.
All relationships are as unique as the individuals participating in them. Just as there are many types of love which is expressed within the agreement of each relationship. However, Love is not equal to Trust. You may love someone dearly however be unable to trust them. Trust is the building block of intimacy. Intimacy has many forms and levels to be expressed in relationships also. So, as relationships can be deep and complex or surface and limited, all are purposeful.
When we experience difficulty in relationship it can be related to a challenge to trust ,challenge to values and priorities, a sense of imbalanced power , and/or an expansion or constriction beyond the original purpose of the relationship combined with in an unwillingness or lack of commitment to participate.
Our relationships are evolving according to each participants growth and commitment to the relationship. In these accelerated evolving conditions we are experiencing in life, relationships can be reflective and subjected to this pace.
It is important to remember not to measure the "success" of your relationships on the length of sustaining and consider the growth experienced of each participant. Relationships are containers of expression needing to be fluid as our expressions;containers not constrainors. It is important to realize that relationships do not hinder the individual's ability to grow and expand however clear boundaries and understanding of parameters of relationships must be mutually defined and respected. As humans, we will make mistakes, have moments lacking good judgement and fall short of our intentions. How often, why,and what we are willing to do to correct this infractions affects our agreements. Humans are not meant to be an Island but to experience himself/herself in relation to others. Relationships are defined by the individuals committed to the relationship, which may or may not be in agreement with social standards and definitions of relationships. In these New Ways of Doing Life we are being offered, we need the courage to be the authority and director of our experiences rather than waiting for society to dictate to us what our experiences should look like or giving the definitions to follow. Yes, we need to function in a healthy appropriate manner however, when we operate in alignment with our authentic nature all is being honored for the highest good of all. Only the individuals participating in the relationship can identify the purpose, agreements and willingness and level of participation/commitment. However, this requires personal authenticity,honesty, integrity ,direct communication,mutual understanding and respect,and safety.
Leading back to trust.
There are three types of trust: trust of self, trust of life, trust of others. We also have three inner directors of Self and trust, Our Inner Child, Our Inner Protector and Our Inner Adult. Understanding and unifying what each inner self values and needs to feel safe and heard allows for a balanced way of relating in exterior relationships. As you can see balancing the many "Trinity" components of YOU (mind,body,spirit) is vitally important to alignment of Self to participate with others.
Although trust, intimacy, and love are active in our relationships not all relationships involve the same type or level of each offering many containers to grow expand and express. As well as, the level of participation is directly proportional to the levels each individual is capable of or willing to express within the container. When we only allow our past experiences to dictate how trusting we are of life or people or even ourself, we severely limit our ability to grow and expand and experience new experiences or the same exeriences in New ways. When one of our inner selves is out of balance our ability to trust and grow is also out of balance. Even if new opportunities arise we may shy away from them not trusting what might occur. We might be tempted to trust too easily or trust the wrong individuals or blame others for not being trustworthy; giving away our Power and operating out of Fear and separation, not Love (our natural state) actually re creating these same experiences again and again. If someone you love has shown themselves to be not trustworthy, you can continue to love them and limit the level of trust and intimacy you participate with them and redefine the paramaters of relationship or not directly participate in relationship. Love is then not in resistance or denial but allowed redirected expression, Love is constant yet its forms and expressions change.
Love does not have to automatically equal trust. Before analyzing the trustworthiness of another know what levels of trust you have to offer and trust yourself to know when another can meet you there or where you limit the interactions with another of a different level. Love is our natural flow,we all have limits and levels we choose or feel safe expressing as well as different lessons and experiences we have incarnated for;our higher Self is Knowing of this even when we are not aware or remembering(or trying to control and protect ourself from). Our relationships are containers for these experiences. Trust, intimacy and purpose are agreements to participate in relationship between the participants. Relationships without firm foundations are not satisfying and eventually dissapate.
Trust is a foundation to relationship, not automatic, trust is built (coming from love)not tested(coming from fear) It is a Choice and a Skill.
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